This will be me tomorrow! Off to Ireland!
If the drinking age in the united kingdom is 18…can I drink on British Airways? Hmmmm
Yes, you can! We should all get celebratory Irish Cream to kick off the flight ha.
(Source: sayukioceanunique)
Because instantly alienating a huge chunk of your demographic through offensive humour is the best way to sell soda pop. (x)
So glad I wasn’t the only one who thought this. Like, seriously? Way to be fucking assholes, you pricks.
THAT’S WHAT I SAID. My guy friend were like “Oh, it’s just a joke.” No. I don’t find that funny. I think it’s ridiculously stupid.
I’m glad John and Hank Green had something to say about this. I thought it was just me and my feminist ways raging about what I thought was misogyny.
Ads like this make me fume because it insinuates that there’s something bad about women. Like we’re just not good enough. Men, you have to like action and adrenaline and dirty stuff, but if you are a woman, you can’t like any of those things and men, you’re feminine if you don’t like those things.
Dr. Pepper, it’s a shame that your products are so good. My family still buys your products. I’m ashamed for this company. I’m ashamed for the people who came up with this ad. There are better ways to market your product.
That’s like how Secret deodorant’s slogan used to be “strong enough for a man, made for a woman.” WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK. So, woman aren’t supposed to sweat as much as men? I’m confused because I’m gonna be honest, I sweat a lot. Though that doesn’t make me as mad as this does. At least they changed the slogan.
Screw you, Dr. Pepper. This ad made me angry for days after I saw it the first time and it still makes me angry now. Why are you still using this marking campaign? Because you’re still selling soda? If that’s the case, I will stop buying your products and petition for others to do the same, because this really grinds my gears.
(Also, I would like to point out my mix of expletives in this post. I used the F word but also “grinds my gears”…so that happened.)
LEAVING FOR IRELAND IN TWO DAYS OH MY GAAAAAAAAWWWWD
I GET TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND TOMORROW
WE’RE GONNA GO DO SO MANY FUN THINGS. THERE’S A WEGMAN’S IN BEL AIR. A WEGMAN’S. We’re gonna go there and the military surplus store and some other cool but “boring” places. I just like doing silly things with him.
Also he’s apparently a terrible driver so hopefully that doesn’t ruin my opinion of him.
I’m only super excited because I haven’t seen him for a week and I’m used to seeing him every day. But then when I go to Ireland…I’ll be using my Skype significantly more I suppose.
This semester has turned out to be the best semester ever
At first it really sucked, but then it got awesome.
1. Boyfriend who is awesome and cute and funny and all sorts of great
2. First 4.0 semester GPA which makes me super happy
3. I’m going to Ireland in 13 days.
Everything rocks.
English teacher is letting me make up my exam I missed this morning. Begrudgingly, yes, but still letting me, none the less. THANK GOD.
So I um….I overslept for my 8am exam today. And when I got there at 9 (I should have had another hour to take the exam) the classroom was empty, lights off, no one there. I emailed the professor because she should have been there till 10 and hopefully I will be able to make up the exam. I feel like a failure….
What Goes Up Must Come Down (A Short Story)
I’m positive in my decision. I’m going to kill myself on top of that roller coaster.
This isn’t as sudden as it seems. I’d known for a while that life wasn’t worth living. Ever since Michelle left me my life has been so dismal. Five years and not a single utterance of goodbye. Just a note that read, “I’m leaving. You can keep the coffee maker.” I threw away the coffee maker after that.
I don’t even like coffee.
So now, as I’m standing in front of this roller coaster, it’s just reminding me more and more of her, and how fickle she was, and how she was never someone who I could figure out. She always threw me for a loop.
The line isn’t as long as it could be, and I’m glad because I think the anticipation before killing oneself is probably the worst part about suicide. Though the people who have successfully done the deed couldn’t tell you, obviously, because they’re dead….
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
The line moves and a pretty girl lines up behind me, followed by some people I can only assume are her friends. They’re all talking and laughing about something unimportant, I’m sure. I keep my face straight and move ahead in the line.
Waiting.
Waiting.
When I reach the turnstile to enter the ride the roller coaster bouncer (as I call them) asks me if I have a partner.
“No, I don’t,” I respond, “Is that going to be a problem?”
“Miss, you’ll be riding with this man right here,” the bouncer says to the girl behind me. She smiles politely at him and follows me to the seats on the ride, and straps herself in with the safety bar.
The girl turns to me and throws on her smile again. “Hi, I’m Ashley.”
I don’t like you.
“Mark.” I try to avoid eye contact and lift up my hand as a form of greeting.
“You should probably strap yourself in,” she suggests, “because the ride is going to move soon and you wouldn’t want to fall out.” Ashley giggles but I remain stoic.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Pause.
“Yes.”
Right before we move the bouncer comes by and pushes my safety bar forward for me.
We stay silent until the ride lurches forward suddenly and I shift around in my seat, jiggling the bar in a certain way to unlatch it. Ashley glances over at me with a worried expression on her face, seemingly freaking out over my lack of concern. The ride moves forward faster than before and she turns towards me.
“As your partner on this ride, I strongly suggest that you put your safety thing back on before we descend the first hill on the coaster. Unless you’re trying to kill yourself, in which case you are doing a great job.”
“I am trying to kill myself.”
“Um. Oh. Kay.”
Silence.
Ashley stares straight ahead and we sit in the uncomfortable silence. We continue to ascend.
“I’m not sure why you’ve just admitted that you’re trying to kill yourself to someone that you don’t even know, but I really think that you should put on your safety harness seatbelt thing before we reach the first turn because you will fall out and hit the ground and die.” Ashley’s voice sounds pleading and strained.
“I’m very aware of that fact.” I’m yelling over the sound of the coaster but my voice remains steady.
Ashley looks visibly shaken.
“Because there’s no part of me that wants to get off this ride and say, ‘yeah, the guy next to me just fell out of the coaster and died.’” She’s shaking as her left hand grasps the side of the ride and her right hand digs its nails into her thigh.
I’m debating whether or not there’s a need to listen to her. Because once I’m dead I won’t have to care about this stranger’s emotions, because…well, I’ll be dead. Suddenly I think about when I was ten and I was walking down the street and saw my neighbor’s dog get hit by a moving car. I wasn’t so much upset because I liked that dog, in fact I hated that dog, but something about seeing the life being taken from it stayed with me.
We’re approaching the first drop and Ashley’s face looks so pained that I could have sworn that she literally bit her tongue. As I look at her face, something in my mind makes my hands move down to pull the safety bar close to my abdomen. We reach the top, fall, and as we turn she looks over to me, expecting me to fall out of my seat, and when I don’t fall to the ground to my death, she’s so relived that she violently exhales. I can only assume she had been holding her breath.
The loop ends and the coaster begins to slow as we come back to the turnstile area. We come to a stop.
Ashley just sits in the coaster as I push the bar away from me and stand up.
“Sorry for screwing with you,” I say, not looking at her as I walk away.
I hear her scream back at me a long string of obscenities. I don’t turn around.
I’m not sure if I really meant to try to kill myself. But I didn’t want anyone to see it when it happened.
All I know is that I don’t really even like roller coasters that much, anyway.
(Source: youcantsaythatoutloud)
Infestation (A Flash Fiction)
I walk into the hardware store holding the rope in my left hand. The first store clerk gives me a smile, but I don’t need her help; I know exactly where the rat poison is. Aisle twelve, three quarters of the way down, fourth shelf.
I’m glad to finally get rid of these pests. I rush towards the aisle and make sure that I don’t step on any of the cracks in the concrete floor. A second store clerk is stocking shelves on the aisle. I ignore him.
“Can I help you?” he says with a smile.
I pause for a moment and then turn to him. “How much do you hate your job?” I ask him in return.
The smile fades from his face. His brow stiffens in confusion. “I…don’t think I understand what you’re saying.” He refuses to look at my face.
“Does it take a lot of effort for you to come here every day?”
The clerk stares at the shelves. I can tell that my words have resonated with him; his face is more full of shock than confusion, like I’ve figured out his secret.
I reach in front of him and pull a box of rat poison from the shelf. It’s one of the items he happens to be restocking. One box will be enough. The clerk’s eyes follow my hand. I carry the box in my right hand, my left still gripping the rope.
“Got a pest problem?” he asks, ignoring our conversation before.
“I’ve got a lot of problems,” I say, turning around, floating back down the isle towards the registers.
(Source: youcantsaythatoutloud)
Life (a flash fiction)
It’s warm inside the womb.
Then you see the bright light, and you hear screams and people crying and beeps and bloops and voices. You’re not sure who these people are and cannot comprehend their phrases, and you feel a set of hands pull you out of the warmth you’ve been living in for the past nine months.
And then after that, everything sucks.
(Source: youcantsaythatoutloud)
